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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 12:59:18 GMT -7
Spider-Man sprung from Rhino's face like a powerful gymnast into a graceful backflip, though the supposed proportionate strength of a spider didn't quite pack the pow that it used to. The horned villain roared out in annoyance and grabbed hold of the stray webline stuck to his head, yanking it as hard as his muscles would allow. The sudden shift in motion caught the lean-bodied webslinger off guard, and he found himself flung against the side of a telephone pole, only to be immediately thrown again the opposite direction against the side of the school. A few stars twinkled about in Spidey's vision as he felt his body being scraped bloodily against the rough brick and tossed through the air again for another strike. How the hell do I detach these things again? he thought frantically through the head-pounding dizziness, having only half paid attention to the “How to Be Spider-Man in Three Easy Steps” crash course that his counterpart had offered. Oh, wait, they come off automatically, don't they? Which means I just have to... Webbed fingers finally let go of the thread they were so desperately holding on to for dear life, freeing the wallcrawler from the continual loop of back and forth smashing. Unfortunately, he would take one more crack against the ground and rolled to a stop, blood smearing the asphalt and tearing through his web-themed suit. Spider-Man lay still for a moment to regain his bearings as Deadpool tore through the hordes of imagined mercenaries, spouting rather ridiculous nonsense that might have potentially worked as dialogue for some deranged schizophrenic version of the Merc with the Mouth. The humor was there, sure, but it lacked a certain finesse, a je ne sais quoi, if you will, compared to the genuine article. Spidey shifted to a crouched position, ready to pounce and thwip once again, but ended up smacking his hand against his forehead in disbelief of the crimson merc's quip choices. Do I really sound like that? There's no way I really sound like that.“You know, I used to think your jokes were cute...Deadpool,” he snapped at his partner, the name feeling a bit foreign on his tongue in this context. “But this is just embarrassing.” Heavy footstomps barreled towards Spider-Man once again, and he fired a webline against the building to get himself airborne and out of Rhino's charging path. “And I—you don't have a crush on Cable!" he insisted as he finally started to get the hang of webslinging, though his face flushed red hot beneath his mask. "That whole thing happened a long time ago! I'm—You should be totally over it by now! Focus! Where are these assholes coming from?”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 27, 2016 16:37:30 GMT -7
"Suuuuuure yo...I don't!" Deadpool called out. "Cool story bro! Keep saying it and I may just believe it Spidey! I am your biggest fan! Says so on all my social media accounts!"Just then he caught a glimpse of someone definitely out of place, a woman not covered in the same holographic illusions the rest of the attackers were. "Wow! It's as if disco rejects and the 90's all barfed in one place!" he declared as he delivered a backhand punch to a man. I know here from somewhere...right! She had developed that VR projector thing, made people think dinosaurs were running around downtown, even had DD and me at each other's throats for a bit! What was her name? Angela something or another, but the codename was so dumb...Whistling to get "Spider-Man's" attention, Deadpool pointed. "Yoohoo! Spidey! Lookit what I found!" he called pointing in the direction of the van-like vehicle she was using as a mobile base. Noticing Rhino coming around for another pass at Spidey and hating the idea of the suit getting any more damage than it already did, considering they were NOT cheap, Deadpool had an idea. "Webhead! Over here! Bring the petting zoo with you! You shouldn't hog all the animals! Others want a chance to pet them too!" he called out, hoping Spider-Man would get the hint. Now to draw all these losers to the van...but how?Noticing an incensed Rhino, nostrils blaring as he took both costumed heroes into account, he knew he had to do something drastic.
"I AIN'T NO ANIMAL! I AIN'T FOR PETTING!" "Oh I dunno about that! Sure you may not be a hit with the ladies, but I remember when you were teeny tiny, fit in my pocket like a real life Pokemon! That was adorable! I told Spidey all about it, we laughed 'till we cried! You remember don't ya tiny?"With that and grateful he'd paid attention to Deadpool's ramblings at least once, he flipped high into the air, drew yet ANOTHER pistol, and began to fire. He wasn't aiming for any of the men, instead hitting the ground just behind their feet and wildly into the air in an attempt to get them moving. The recoil was pretty bad, but he was grateful for the proportionate strength of a YOU KNOW WHAT since it made up for the lack of actual skill with weapons. Still, he really, REALLY didn't like guns.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2016 7:48:43 GMT -7
“D'awwww, that's so sweet! You're all that's running through my thoughts, too, buddy!” Spider-Man flirted heavily, his voice dripping in sucrose, though he flustered a bit over his words in embarrassment. I swear, he's absorbing way too much Essence de Deadpool from that mask - he might be turning into me! If I knew my sweat worked like a Reverse-Rogue, I probably would have washed that thing more regularly. Oh well. Hindsight.Nodding in response to Deadpool's implied plan, the webslinger shot off another thread of sticky fluid into Rhino's face mid-charge, splattering the webbing into and around the villain's open, shouting mouth. “Awww yeah! And there's the money shot!” he chirped, waving his arms about frantically before shooting off a few more globs to be extra annoying. “Over here Rhino! I'm an elderly woman with a child! That's at least 180 points right there! Come n' get me!” With a shot and a swing, Spidey took to the air once more, tossing and flipping himself from web to web like an in-flight ballerina, as his similarly red-suited partner goaded the enormous target from below. “You actually remember that?” he said to Deadpool as he swung past, somewhat touched by the other fighter having paid attention to some of their previous talks and forgetting just who he was supposed to be for a second. “I mean...err...aww, f**k it.” With that decidedly out-of-character declaration, Spider-Man sent a splat of web against the roof of the large van, somersaulting through the air to land on top of it with a heavy thump. “You wish to strike me down, foul beast?!” he loudly proclaimed to the Rhino, like the hero of a Shakespearean tragedy, his arms stretched out to the sides in challenge. “Here I stand!”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 29, 2016 6:23:51 GMT -7
No way. Just...no way. I mean sure I am shooting guns on school grounds...A task he continued to do, sweat beading on his forehead with each pull of the trigger as the blasts herded the men back towards the van. The scene was almost comical as their hologram counterparts stood around waving their weapons menacingly. But he just dropped an F-bomb! In my costume! As me! People are going to think I'm a degenerate! Well, people who are not named Jameson that is!That was when he saw "Spidey" swing to the top of the van as if he'd been born shooting webs his whole life. And somehow he STILL managed to sound more heroic than I do...AS ME!Running, leaping, and jumping until he ran out of bullets he headed in the same direction as the fleeing thugs and the rapidly approaching Rhino. At the last second however he noticed something, his "common sense" tingling to alert him that this group would not have come so completely unprepared. And that was when he noticed the men he and "Spidey" had downed previously were...beeping. Oh COME ON!Sure enough they were beeping, each strapped with some form of explosives. Deadpool ran as fast as he could, leaping and flipping around, trying not to gag over the prone forms of the "zombies" that had been exterminated before the illusion had been found out. Arms soon filled with all manner of explosives he headed back towards the van fast as he possibly could, vaulting atop Rhino and using the side of his horn to jump off. "You know Tiny, they say if those things last for more than four hours you should see a doctor!" "GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" was his only response. Now in front of the really angry Rhino and running for life and limb, he never before missed his webshooters so much. Feeling the pavement shake with each step the gaining villain took he knew he had to jump for it. "MAXIMUM EFFORT!" he cried as he sprang into the air as high and as far as he could. Outpacing the rampaging beast-man he arrived at the van, clung to its side, and flung the vests through a window with enough force to shatter it. "Hey, you dropped your crap! Littering is an offense you know!"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2016 20:50:33 GMT -7
As the Rhino came rampaging towards the van, directly on Deadpool's heels, Spider-Man couldn't help but groan in annoyance at the barrage of quips and insults. “Again with the erectile dysfunction jokes! First O'Hara and now you? News flash, Spider-People – it loses it's punch after the first several tellings!” Remembering that he, himself, at this very moment, was a Spider-People, he quickly backtracked and fumbled with his cover up, posing with his arms akimbo. “Umm...it's a good thing that I, the Amazing Spider-Man (trademark pending), is above such juvenile jests! Because I'm Spider-Man and dirty jokes are beneath me and my straight and narrow moral compass!”Ugh, why did you say that?! That was so lame! Spidey normally makes his lameness sound at least kind of cool. Dammit, was I doing better just being me in web-wear? But that makes no sense...Peter and I are complete opposi–
Spidey's feet shook beneath him in rapid succession as the large villain charged nearer, rumbling the van he was still standing on violently as Deadpool shouted out some sort of crazy catchphrase. “Do I say that?” he started to ask, before forcing his dialogue back to inner monologue to keep the ruse going. I think I said it, like, once, at the end of issue 900. It has staying power, though! I like it! I should start saying it more often! The distraction seemed to be working, as Rhino came full tilt towards him with a furious roar. “Now, now, didn't your mother ever teach you that's not how you get what you want?” Spidey said with a hidden smirk and a 'come at me bro' gesture, only for his eyes to widen as soon as he saw Deadpool with an overloaded armful of explosives. The red and black merc smashed the bombs through one of the van's window with the typical Merc with the Mouth forethought - that is to say, with no real thought behind it at all. “Classic Deadpool move!” Spidey shouted to his partner cheerfully, quickly hopping down to the street as soon as the two villains were about to collide in a fiery blast, hoping to escape to safety in time. “Save the day, blow up the bad guy! Didn't think you had it in you!” The wallcrawler skidded suddenly to a halt mid-retreat, and slowly turned on his heel with an overdramatic groan of unpleasant realization. “Wait...you don't have it in you. Spider-Man doesn't let the bad guy blow up. And I'm...” He looked down at the web pattern that adorned his hands. “Damn! Your moral code makes this a lot more difficult than it needs to be!” Spider-Man shot a webline at the van's door and pulled with all his might, the joints and tendons in his arms and shoulders nearly popping from their proper places with this feat of strength. With Rhino's thumping growing ever closer, he charged back towards the van as soon as the door flew off and jumped inside the vehicle to confront, capture, and potentially rescue the illusionist therein. “In the famous words of our favorite 80s action hero that's not Cable,” Spidey cried out to Synario, spraying webbing at her to restrain her. “Come with me if you want to live!”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 31, 2016 19:53:34 GMT -7
Deadpool smirked beneath the mask. His past experience with Synario telling him that when the going got rough, Synario booked like someone who's pants were set ablaze. He knew she'd run away as soon as possible, but seeing "Spidey" go out of his way to save her gave him some hope. Unless he's just trying to keep up the image...which I also grateful for! "Buh-Bye! Don't forget to tell the Nintendo people that Virtual Boy sucks just as much now as it did in the 90's!" he called out, waving at the villainess as Spider-Man secured her. Rhino meanwhile was charging full on at the van, eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. "DON'T YOU TWO EVER CAN IT?! he bellowed. Deadpool stared the Rhino down, eyes narrowed as he dropped down in front of the van. "Oh he's sooo cute! Lookit that widdle angry face! He's just an adorable widdle Rhino, such a super kawaii walking warning against inter species mingling! Oh yes he is!"
He jumped clear of the charging villain just in time. The horn pierced the van, his pure bulk flipping it and destroying the equipment causing the holograms to vanish. Almost simultaneously the explosives detonated, the whole thing erupting in a ball of fire and molten shrapnel. From where he had landed upon a streetlamp, Deadpool prayed that Spidey had been fast enough get out of there with Synario and that the Rhino had as thick a skull as he thought he did. Sure enough the villain turned around, seemingly unfazed, before taking several wobbling steps. He approached Spider-Man as if ready to continue the fight, only to collapse in a heap at his feet. Deadpool mean while skipped over to his fellow crimefighter's location and patted the downed villain's head as he went. "And the answer to your question is...SHADDUP!" he declared. "So...did we win?"
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2016 14:05:27 GMT -7
Spider-Man wrapped the panicking Synario up in his webbing and scooped her over his shoulder, buckling slightly under her weight. “Damn, girl, you need to start watching how many Dunkaroos and Ecto Coolers you're shoving in your face. Even dashing heroes with the proportionate strength of a spider, like myself, are gonna have a hell of a time pulling you out of trouble!” He sprayed out another webline towards the outside, and proudly shouted out over the mayhem to Deadpool, “And that's how you pull off a quip only 90s kids will understand!”The van was smashed, bashed, exploded, and turned over right at Spidey's heels, the webslinger swinging through the air with the illusionist in tow amidst the exciting explosions behind him. With the grace of an acrobat, he made a three-point superhero landing to safety, grinning with glee at the large villain now fallen at his feet. “Whooo! That was awesome! Double their annoyance, double our fun!” Spidey dropped the bound Synario square onto the fallen Rhino's back, emptying out the web cartridges to bind them together for good measure. “So, what, we just leave 'em here? We could always stick 'em to the back of a police car. That would be way more effective than just hoping they're found like this and don't just escape when the webs wear off. But maybe that's why your rogue's gallery's so freaking huge.”Spider-Man grinned widely at Deadpool's antics, though it faded gently into a more thoughtful smile as the merc continued to harass Rhino relentlessly. For a while, he thought it would have been better to just abandon this man completely, prevent the future as it had been told from happening by simply not being a part of it. But, regardless of what was to come, regardless of the fear and paranoia that had been creeping into both of their minds since Alchemax, it was far too hard to fight fate. Sooner or later, they'd be forced down the same paths. And when they did, they always made a great team. He missed running around in spandex with this guy. And moreover, he missed his friend. He had to make sure the future didn't come to pass. That Peter Parker would stay just like this. Joking, happy, heroic. No matter what the cost. “Yeah...I think we won,” he said softly, mentally shoving any melancholy thoughts to the side. “Now...Spider-Man, if you don't mind...could you get the f**k out of my suit? I think your bad jokes have damaged my reputation enough for one afternoon.”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Aug 21, 2016 20:02:20 GMT -7
Holy crap! He did it! He actually did it! "Deadpool" thought. We stopped the bad guys, he saved the woman as I would have, it all worked out! Faith in humanity restored!Making a hand wiping movement he nodded at the wallcrawler. "Whoa, whoa, chill out Spidey! School zone, impressionable young minds remember? That language us not very becoming of a hero!" he told his fellow red-clad vigilante. "But yes, secure them as best you can with the webbing. I'm sure the cops are already on their..." Approaching sirens cut off the thought prompting the merc to point at the school's rooftop as he sprinted away. Topside Peter began removing bits of Deadpool's gear, glancing briefly at the Hello Kitty watch as he calculated how long he'd have before being able to make it back to the classroom, hopefully coming up with a convincing cover story for what he wasn't present the whole time. The lock down would be lifting after all and he had a long way to go before his day was over. For the moment however he was trying to avoid having the real Deadpool, still in the webs, from seeing exactly what he looked like. The whole affair with Future him had all but shattered the illusion of his having a secret identity, at least amongst those involved, but it was still worth a shot at salvaging what he could. Still shocked we worked together so well, he thought. I mean considering everything Wade has to be a hell of a guy to fight alongside me knowing what happened in that alternate timeline. Maybe, just maybe he isn't so bad after all.As he removed some of the body armor a thought occurred to him. "Hey DP, just what were you doing in the neighborhood anyway?"
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2016 16:13:41 GMT -7
Wade undressed with his back respectfully to Peter, despite having kind of seen his face once before, or at least an older, more insane version of him. Spider-Man seemed to want to retcon any inkling of Deadpool knowing any shred of his secret identity, and for the sake of his own purposes, Wade was more than willing to pretend he knew nothing for the time being. He peeled the practically painted-on spandex from his sweat-drenched body, as lines, trails, and craters of aged scars were unceremoniously revealed beneath the red and blue webs. “Sheeeesh! All that webslinging is murder on my lats and glutes,” he teasingly complained from behind the iconic wide-eyed mask that he still wore, his fingers massaging into the small of his own back as he stretched out the aching muscles. “I can see now why you have such a tight ass. That gal pal of yours is real lucky, let me tell ya!” Deadpool paused a moment after the inevitable question of why he was around in the first place was uttered, and he felt his blood turn to ice, all color rushing from his face and melting into the ground at his feet. He was grateful to still have Spider-Man's mask on to hide this tripped up expression. “Research,” he replied sharply, which wasn't entirely untrue. “Stuff for a job that I had to look into before the city shuts down. Strictly confidential.” After regaining his composure, Wade pulled the webbed mask from his face and covered his eyes as he handed it back to its rightful owner. “I can promise you that it has nothing to do with bullets or blades and shoving them in anyone, if that helps.”The merc took hold of his own mask as it was traded back to him, and pulled it down over his face with a slightly uncomfortable sigh. “You getting out of dodge before the city goes to hell?” he asked, but immediately shook his head and laughed out loud. “Aww, who am I kidding? You'll be right there in the thick of it, as always. You hero you!” Wade laughed again, slipping into his proper uniform to become Deadpool once again, though his tone trailed off into something a bit more somber. “Just don't get yourself killed before our next epic team-up, Spider-Man. I'd like to do this again sometime.”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Sept 5, 2016 18:33:51 GMT -7
Spidey accepted the answer without further question. Aside from the fact he had to get back in the school as soon as possible, it was a perfectly reasonable answer. It wasn't like Peter knew the first thing about mercenary work or what all it entailed. "Well, I'm just glad you were here. That could have gotten a lot uglier without the assist."As they exchanged masks, Peter still overly careful to not reveal his face, he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Considering all they had been through thanks to some potential evil future version of him he had expected their eventual reunion to be far more awkward than it was. Instead, they fell into a rhythm while they dispatched Rhino and the goons, even able to do a fair job imitating each other's styles when it was necessary. He hated to admit it, but as much as he disliked the whole stabby-shooty aspect of Deadpool, he did like the guy himself. Sure he was annoying at times, but there was something deeper there. Based on how he had handled the whole Synario situation he had to wonder if there wasn't an actual hero hidden somewhere inside too. "Yeah, I'm sticking around. Going to get some people I care about out of town before it really hits the fan, but this is my city and I'm not gonna cut and run. And I've no intention of dying. Not again."He shuddered as he remembered his death at Morlun's hands, something he had thought about a lot lately. Shaking it off he secured his mask, turned around, and extended a hand to the mercenary. "I...I think I'd like that. It was good working with you Deadpool. Hopefully next time won't be in the middle of a school..."SCHOOL! he thought. "Sorry, but I uh...I've to go!" he shouted as he darted away and leapt off the building. Back inside Midtown High...Fired, Peter thought as he cleared out his desk. He had managed to stop the bad guys with Deadpool's help, prevented them from destroying the school and causing deaths, but in the end nobody would know. All people were talking about was Peter Parker, the teacher that cut and run leaving his students behind in the middle of a lockdown. Sure they may have bought the story that he accidentally locked himself outside the room in a panic, but still it violated policy. And so he was fired within moments of getting back in the building. What the hell am I going to do? This isn't like Jameson firing me and rehiring me in moments and teaching was the majority of our income. I have to tell MJ and how am I gonna do that? "Oh, yeah honey I got canned but it was for a good cause. And no I wasn't just running around cosplaying as Deadpool this was serious hero business.""Oh well," he said as he exited the building, contents of his desk in a single box. "Maybe the gang war will cause so much damage I can get a job cleaning things up in the aftermath. Your Friendly Neighborhood Janitor Guy, at your service." [The End...for now]
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