Random Ramblings of a Marvel Fan (The Diary of Gwen Poole)

[John Kilroy]

Been a while since I write this thing. I figured I'd go ahead and write some of my Wishlist things that I'd like to do while on this thread. Now ultimately a lot of this stuff is out of my control as it'll be things that my player will have to get permission from the mods and other players before I can even attempt doing these things. Still, if nothing else this will help me and my player keep track of stuff I want to do overall. As new goals come about and old ones get crossed off I'll make new updates. This isn't in any particular order just me droughting down stuff off the top of my head

1. Resurrect Gwen Stacy: No this isn't about any kind of Spider-Man X Gwen Stacy ship. No this is to Spite Mr. Norman "I'm totally reformed and not the Green Goblin guys" Osborn. I don't care if she ends up being a supporting character or even just a background character. if Norman Osborn of all people can come back from the dead and become prominent again despite CLEARLY GETTING RAMMED THROUGH THE TORSO AND CHEST BY A BLADED GLIDER!!! Then Gwen Stacy deserves to get resurrected by some sort of comic bable and given a second chance at life too blast it!!!

2. Meet Spider-Man: Spider-Man is tied with Ms Marvel (Carol Danvers NOT Kamila Kahn just FYI) as my all-time favorite superhero. To meet him would be my childhood dream come true. Hopefully, I can meet Mary Jane too unless....AHHHH!!!! I HAVE TO WARN THEM ABOUT ONE MORE DAY!!!!! Please for the love of Stan Lee let it have not happened yet PLEASE!!!!

3. Meet Carol Danvers(?): Oh I'm really not sure about this one. From what little I think I know. This version of Carol is what inevitably triggered the Civil War and she's taken the Captain Marvel (and uniform) and has turned into a REAL....fallen angel. I don't know to what extent that means but it sounds like she basically did a speedrun on becoming Bri Larson and...I really REALLY do not see that meeting going well. Part of me really does want to meet her. I just...I hope I'm wrong about her falling for grace. I don't want her to be a fallen idol enough of my favorite YouTubers have done that to me plenty.

4. Ditch the Gwenpool Gimmick: I don't like the Deadpool even my main 616 counterparts didn't like him and yet somehow she and by extension me ended up being essentially a gender-swapped anime girl version of him simply because the name Gwen Poole sounds like a pun. I don't care what Gimmick I end up with, but if I'm going to be a knockoff or a derivative then please let it be of a hero I can actually tolerate, please?!?

5: Debate Jeremy Briggs: Ok I know the odds of the mods letting me do this are between "NOT A CHANCE!" & "NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!" but man would I love to debate his stupid pretty boy...butt and his little "No more Heroes" movement on live television. I mean I don't even have to meta game. All I have to do is take my portal gun and open up a bunch of windows to various alternate universes and the whole world can see for themselves why heroes are necessary. Seriously I want to see the look on the people's face as they collectively crap their pants as they see what really exist outside of their little bubble. Just wait till they see some Variant of Marvel Zombies or Age of Ultron...or Skrull takeover or Kang world or Symbiote invasion...ok well you get the idea. 

This is all I got for now. This is bound to change though. This is going in a lockbox that only me and the players (Not their characters!) can access. To quote TRON

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[John Kilroy]

Hey Diary it's me again...I never mind

1. Resurrect Gwen Stacy: No this isn't about any kind of Spider-Man X Gwen Stacy ship. No this is to Spite Mr. Norman "I'm totally reformed and not the Green Goblin guys" Osborn. I don't care if she ends up being a supporting character or even just a background character. if Norman Osborn of all people can come back from the dead and become prominent again despite CLEARLY GETTING RAMMED THROUGH THE TORSO AND CHEST BY A BLADED GLIDER!!! Then Gwen Stacy deserves to get resurrected by some sort of comic bable and given a second chance at life too blast it!!! 

I did some research in my own home universe on Gwen and....screw it! screw it! screw it! Screw comic book shanagins, screw all of these psudo bullcrap fake out resurrections just screw it all!!! Note to self: 1. I hate clones. 2. for both of our sakes I am never going to step foot in Ohio otherwise I am most likely going to go to jail for murdering a woman that happens to look sound act and knows an awful lot about Gwen Stacy. 3. I freaking HATE Clones.

Spider-Man if you somehow happen to get ahold of this diary just...feel free to hate me for even entertaining this....it was a stupid idea thought up by an equally stupid fangirl. 

(*Sigh*) My super career has barely started and I already feel like I'm already going through emotional burn out. At this point, I don't even know if I want to be a hero. I'm not strong enough. A hero inspires others through loss and I can't I've already lost people in my own world. I REFUSE to lose people in this world. I don't care if it makes me boring or uninspiring. gah. Dad I wish you were here. 

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*(Tears stains can be seen on the page)*

[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

Hey it's Gwen again. I guess this is a three parter to an issue I've had for quite some time. 

As of late I've had almost this disturbing obsession with Gwen Stacy. I guess part of it comes from the fact that I've come to realize that I AM a Gwen Stacy Varient. True I don't share her last name. But we look the same facial feature wise, and we have similar stories that follow the same beats. My dad was a police captain who fell victim to falling rubble trying to respond to a Terriot attack and I even almost had a "The Night Gwen Stacy Died" moment.


Originally it hurt me that everyone involved in  The Night That Gwen Stacy Died seemed to be able to walk way from that situation but her. While Norman Obsborn got to live and become a relevant character again, sweet innocent Gwen Stacy was stuck with clones and and even an entire Min-Multiverse of variant knock offs. It just didn't seem fair. The person who actually deserved to be given a soft reboot, and had the most potintal of telling more stories if given a 2nd chance at life doesn't get to have it. At least that's what I initially thought until I dug deeper. 

I'm having to recheck my comic book geek creditiontals because I'm finding that everything I knew about certain characters was wrong. Thanks to post-mortem Veneration and sanitation of Gwen Stacy I always remembered Gwen Stacy as being this sweet kind loyal woman who was the perfect match for Peter, almost this sort of lovey dovey sort of relationship who was a foil to the fickle Floozy that was Mary Jane Watson. Angel vs The Devil with the only reason Peter ends up with the latter as opposed to the former being a cruel twist of fate brought about by gods that didn't know what to do with her so they took the easy way out. Reality however is that Gwen was far from an angelic being. In fact while I won't go as far as to say she was a bad person, she wasn't exactly a good person either. 

Now let me make one thing clear. I will not deny the fact that Gwen was the first love the first true girlfriend whatever you want to call it. But Looking back and reading her history. The relationship was surprisingly toxic when one looks back on it in hindsight. Gwen helped Peter come out of his shell, but she also brought out some of his worst aspects.  Especially his temper and his jealousy. There were many moments especially involving Flash where Peter's Jealousy got the better of him and Gwen at times seems to only escalate things. and not de-escalate things. On top of all that, Gwen HATED Spider-Man and I seriously doubt that was going to change even after Peter revealed the Truth. If anything I think it would have caused her to be just that much more Jealous and toxic towards him .

Now Flash swears up and down that Gwen never cheated on Peter, but the thing is people lie and Gwen had a very nasty habit of treating Peter horribly anytime he had to disappear as Spider-Man whether it was giving him a cold and oft at times abusive reception to "hanging out" with people like Fladh. To make things worse she seemed to flip-flop between loving Peter and hating Peter even going as far as to move to England partially to "Get over her Father's death" but I think mostly it was to get back at Peter only to realize it was a "mistake" and decide that she loves Peter again.

If any of this sounds familiar it's because it is. All those Negative traits I originally laid at the feet of Mary Jane.... actually belonged to Gwen Stacy. And it turns out, that MJ despite making some mistakes yes was a whole lot more loyal to Peter both as Peter Parker and as Spider-man than Gwen ever was overall. Gwen was a mean girl wrapped in the facade of the model daugher and MJ is a good girl trapped in the wrappings of a rebellious wild child. 

Now let me be clear. I'm not saying Gwen Stacy deserved to die. even for all her faults she didn't deserve to go out the way she did. But let's be honest. It's not the way she died that bothers most people. It's the fact that she died at all and didn't get to be with Peter but first of all, I don't think the relationship would have worked. In fact I think had Gwen survived it very well might have doomed her soul and tainted what good memories Peter had of her. First of all, say she had survived her neck being broken, best case scenario's she's paralyzed from the waist down if not the neck down, I have little doubt that the resulting injuries would have caused her to HATE both Peter and Spider-Man. She would have blamed him for her Dad's death, she would have blamed him for causing her to become paralyzed, and ruining her life, and we know what happens when someone blames a super-hero for ruining thier lives, doubly so if they were close to said person emotionally. Most likely she would have become a Goblin Esque villain that might have actually proven to be a far worse nemesis for Spider-Man than Norman could ever dream of. She'd have most likely have been Venom before he was even a thing and even in an ideal scenario where none of that occurred, say Peter managed to find a way to cushin her fall and she walked away mostly unscathed,. She would never have been able to handle Peter being Spider-Man. It would have ended in a bitter divorce and I think Peter as a person would have greatly suffered for it. A happy ending with these two was just...it was never going to happen. 

it makes me appreciate MJs and Peter's relationship that much more to be honest. Those two really are perfect for each other and it's telling that it takes the direct intervention of gods and devils to make the relationship fall apart. It's not a matter of love at first sight. It's a matter that these two are willing to do whatever they have to make it work...and if Mephisto or anyone else tries to make One More Day happen in this universe I will PERSONALLY go down to thier realm and kick their butts!!!

I still want to do something nice for Spider-Man but yeah resurrecting Gwen Stacy IS NOT it. I'll figure something out. There have been many face-palming moments in Spider-Man's history and things left open I'm sure I can find something to do for them!

but anyway  if Spider-Man MJ or both is reading this even though I know it's never going to happen:

To MJ: Not that it means anything because you don't know me from Eve, but I am so sorry for how I thought of you. You are the best thing that could have ever happened to Peter and vice versa. Don't ever give him up. There is not a man in the Multiverse that will be better than him....or as sexier for that matter. Even if say you two get separated you are trapped in a dimension where time moves differently and a day for him is like 5 years for you, KEEP THAT RING on. he's worth waiting for. 

To Spider-Man: Don't give her up for anything in this world. One of the expressions you always live by is "With great power comes great responsibility. There IS NO greater responsibility you will have than your wife and (should they ever come) your children. Don't ever lose sight of that no matter what the world tries to throw at you...ever. 

Good luck you two.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary

I guess from here on out I'm just going to be writing my random thoughts on things as they happen. So I was browsing the internet and as it turns out even in a world of superheroes and aliens there are still people that like posting..."art" on the internet. One guy in particular calls himself RedVizor I found myself going down the rabbit hole on I'm not kidding he has a thing for girls mutating into big massive Kaiju monsters and the worst part is he spares no details on the mental changes the girl goes through. It's like he fantasizes about good people becoming corrupted and gets...satisfaction from it to put it cleanly.

Probably the most ironic aspect about it is the guy posting political rants on his website he's a huge advocate for the SRA as well as an advocate for mutant registration. If I didn't know better, I'd say methinks he doth protest too much. I guess at the end of the day that's what bothers me the most. These people fear those with powers, and I truly believe it's because deep down they know how they'd be if they had that sort of power so they assume everyone must be like them. the idea that someone with super powers WON'T immediately start eating babies and smashing the city like it's their own personal playset seems to be beyond their grasp because after all, if THEY had that sort of power, that's exactly what they would do. They project their own moral failings onto heroes.

Honestly, as much as I don't like the idea of loners and I'm horrified about the idea of being one, people like the guy I just described make me respect the people who have broad enough shoulders to be loaners. Cause at the end of the day people like me can't. I want nothing more than to kick mook butt, chew bubble gum, get my butt kicked back before knocking a villain's teeth in, and coming back to some..."Fun time let's call it." assuming a find the right guy anyway.

Funny actually 616 in-comics is proven to be ace, I'm ace, I just...want to save myself for the right guy. Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. Until next time.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

I had another one of those nightmares again, the one about Singapore. I can still hear the screams and smell the blood and gore. Sometimes I think back on it and it still doesn't feel real. How could I have let my alter-ego take control of me as she did? What made things worse was that the people on high set me up, they wanted me to massacre those people. My unit my friends...all of them were led like pigs to the slaughter and hundreds of civilians were murdered. All for what? So that the president could hide the fact he was having an affair with a foreign spy and selling her military secrets? and people wonder why I don't trust the government. Every time I want to look at one of those newspaper clippings I want to throw up. Me a war hero, yeah freaking right. A word to the wise. Trust authority with extreme caution. 

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

I've noticed that there is a bounty board on one of those secret posts. granted it's old but if it's still active JJ seems to be offering $10,000 for the three of the Spider-Family and $20,000 for the man if that board is still active I'm tempted to post a bounty on JJ's head of $50,000 just to troll the guy. I could afford it. I mean, it's the principle of the manner. the guy is an absolute idiot and a scumbag. I don't know what it is he has against Spider-Man heck I don't think even the comics themselves made it fully clear. Mainly just theories. I wonder what the look on his face would be like if he found out the truth. If the guy was even 10% as smart as he thinks he is he would have long figured it out by now. Come on JJ the signs are there you just have to figure it out. Anyway. We'll see if I feel the same way after I eat.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

So I did not realize how many spider-Men there are. Not only is there all of your standard into the Spiderverse Spider-Men, but there are also 3 scarlet spiders and an iron spider, good lord I'm surprised JJ isin't straight up sick of all of the spider-men running around. Poor Peter, I can only imagine what he thinks of all of these copycats running around getting popular off his name while he struggles just to have a normal life for himself. If it were me I'd be POed. It honestly makes me wonder, at what point does a mantle become diluted? Stan Lee once said that "Anyone could be Spider-Man." But I can't help but think that he didn't mean it...quite so literally. Peter would probably freak if he saw all of the comics in my world and how it seems that everyone and their grandma seems to have a spider suit of some kind whether it's a suit or a symbiote. It's probably best I don't show him. Honestly there probably just needs to be one Spider-Man and only one, maybe two if you count Scarlet Spider.

I guess I'll end this particular rant here so...

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

To quote Peter Griffin, "You know what grinds my gears?" People are infatuated with supervillains. Seriously what is it about supervillains that people find sexy? It's scary how men and women are all gaga over straight-up killers. Carnage, Venom, Viper Mystique....ok I kinda get mystique....and I may or may not have a crush on Loki myself (in my defense it's only because Earth 199999 Loki looks like Tom Hiddleston)
....BUT STILL, the point is why? what is it about evil that people find sexy? I mean ladies and gentlemen. These people aren't going to go home with you. If they do it's most likely because it's some part of their evil scheme and then they are probably going to kill you and then well, it's not going to matter how great that night of "fooling around" was now will it? I mean I get it bad guys tend to look and act sexier than their good counterparts, but it's not like good guys can't be like that. I mean look at Black Cat! All I'm saying is if you're going to fool around with a "Bad girl" at least make it an anti-hero if not a dark hero...at least you'll survive to remember it. I AM NOT JEALOUS!!!!


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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

I decided to rename my diary entries to "Random Ramblings of a Marvel Fan" as this thing stopped being a personal Wishlist after like the first 3 pages. I still don't know how the nature of all of this works, to be honest. Does my world create these worlds by drawing comic books, or do the comic books merely windows to these worlds that authors create after receiving some sort of cosmic signal? Morph asked me this once and I was whisked back to my home world and rebooted before I ever got the chance to answer him. I guess I need to find him someday and do just that. 

I can't help but think that it makes more sense that we control these worlds as horrifying as it may sound. It would certainly explain how characters can act so differently out of nowhere with little reason or context, but if that is the case...best not to think about it. It's just best not to think about it.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary

I'm tired....I'm bored I can't sleep so I'm going to introduce a new series to do whenever I just want to write something

   TOP 10 ways to kill Deadpool (Or at least make him hurt really REALLY bad)!!! (Because I freaking hate Deadpool)

Part 1 of

1. Put him feet first into a woodchipper and watch him get turned into mince meat.
2. Slash him up with a lightsaber feel free to cut him into as many itzy bitzy pieces as you want.
3. dunk him into a vat of chum and then throw him into an aquarium full of man eating Great White Sharks
4. Tie him up in a straight jacket and dunk him into a pool of piranhas.
5. Squish him with a hydraulic press  
6. drop a 500 ton anvil on him
7. shrink him down to the size of a doll and proceed to rip off his limbs
8. Throw him into the Marvel Zombies universe.
9: tie him up to a machine that fries him every time he starts to heal.
10. Thow him into a black hole

and this is just a small portion of my ideas.

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[John Kilroy]

TOP 10 ways to kill Deadpool (Or at least make him hurt really REALLY bad)!!! Part 2

1. Stick his head in a microwave and watch it go Sploosh
2. Feed him to the Sarlaac pit and let him digest for ten thousand years.
3. Launch him into the sun
4. give him the good old cement shoes treatment and have him sleeping with the fishes.
5. stick him in a room with the Freakazoid 
6. make him listen to My Chemical Romance on loop forever and ever in a room that echoes
7.  force his eyes open and have him scroll through endless sonic fanart...from deviantart.
8. Force him to Watch The Wolverine forever and ever. 
9. Thanos snap him away with the infinity gauntlet
10. Throw him into an exploding star. and watch him burn...burn baby burn....BURN BABY BURN!!!!! MWHAHAHA!!!!

....

I might have a problem

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

I thought I'd take a break from the whole fantasizing about painfully killing Deadpool. I know it probably seems silly that someone so badly hates the character their entire gimmick is based off of. Why is this the case you may ask? I'm not against the idea of a character that can break the 4th wall heck various Marvel superheroes were able to do it. The two that come to mind are Spider-Man and She-Hulk.

The problem with Deadpool is that most of his 4th wall breaks ultimately come down to. "LOL memes!"

the problem with memes ultimately comes down to the fact that they age fast. It takes about 6 to 8 months to illustrate a comic book. In the meantime, the average meme ages in about half of that time. So anytime the Merc with a Mouth comes out with a new story full of pop culture references, it sounds dated corny and overall pandering. In short "How do you do fellow kids. and while yes jokes can give us insight on a character. It's no substitute for a character. So no Deadpool I will never like you no matter how many cultural references you spit out.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

I've found myself pondering on the concept of the secret identity. Like I get it, you don't want the supervillains to know who you are and to be able to target your loved ones. I'd argue that it doesn't work half the time and they'll get kidnapped anyway but I at least get the concept. What I don't get is why the heroes keep their identities from their loved ones. I mean outside of the obvious of "It makes for easy conflict," I don't get the logic.

The common theory at least in my world seems to be they don't want said loved ones to worry. but the thing is loved ones do eventually find out. They can see when something is off, heck I can't help but think they can smell when something is off. They know, they may not say it out loud but they know, and if they don't know they find out. 

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[John Kilroy]

Dear diary,

So doing more research it seems like getting super powers is out of the question or at the very least no powers that completely change me and make me a different character in all but name.vin short I need to work with what I got and focus on upgrading that. That's fine. One idea have is to become a ninja like the Shredder from the Ninja Turtles or the main character from the shenobi series. The question is who would I get to teach me? I mean ideally I'd LOVE for Daredevil to teach me but first of all he is a loner and second of all I seriously doubt he'd be willing to teach some rando how to be a ninja even if I am willing to put in the work and dedication.

I could go to Japan the problem is I don't know anyone there who'd be willing to teach me either. I don't know just a thought. I just seriously want to improve myself.

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[John Kilroy]

Dear Diary,

Alright I know found a new thing to add to my checklist. I want to find the Necronomicon, AKA the Book of the Dead. Funny enough I don't want it for some kind of ultimate power or to resurrect people who don't need to be resurrected. I'm over that.  No I want it because it has the true version of the play "The King in Yellow" 

Yes I am aware that it is said that anyone who reads it is said to go crazy, but honestly, that makes me want to read it all the more. Just what revelation is so maddening that it drives anyone who reads it crazy I mean I've seen alot.

I don't know how to get ahold of the book, however, I doubt that Dr. Strange would be willing to give the location of a book that rivals the Darkhold in terms of power willingly nilly. eh I'll find a way.


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