Seeking truth (John Kilroy, Open)

[jade]

Jade found herself sleeping in a bed for royalty in a room built no different. Jade eyes opened up to the sun just starting to rise. She moved to the edge of the bed the sun highlighting the scars on her back, she no longer hid who she was, no here in the home of Carol while being training by Jean she had learned to be her true self. Jade’s bare feet graced the hardwood floors as she walked across and changed into her morning workout outfit. She put on a pair of simple running shoes and head out of her room to the outside world. She felt the crispness of the early morning air. Jade stretched out as the sun rose up and drew her soul blades. She moved with grace and steadfastness as the blades swished through the air charging with the light of the sun. Jade knew these were the only hours she could train like this, Jean and Carol had given her freedom and helped her to become whole, but her training with them was just beginning and both were overprotective of Jade. They wanted to make certain Jade never fell to Darkness again or experienced the trauma she had, but for Jade these morning hours were her time to recharge and help fine tune her blades. She wasn’t hiding anything from Phoenix or Carol. No, Jade was simply taking in the light and helping her very soul heal. She remembered what death said to her as she fought invisible foes with her blade.

“Death like living is earned Jade.”

Blades swooshed through the air as Jade twisted turned and flipped through the air landing on her feet every time. Her breathe was heavy from the workout sweat beaded on her forehead. Jade was not fully healed yet, but she was trying to be someone better than her ancestors. Jade dat down and her cris crossed across her legs and held het blades o relating each other over her lap as she looked over the cliff side onto the valleys a head. The sun lit up over the landscape as Jade’s Emerald eyes glowed from the light within her. Foot steps approached Jade as she closed her eyes and steadied her breathe. Jade spoke to the all too familiar steps.

“I figured sooner or later you would figure out I wake up with the sun. Now before you go and worry about my physical health. I can assure you I did not over exert myself this morning. I simply wanted to charge my blades with some pure light and see the beauty in the sun rise. How are you this fine morning?”

[John Kilroy]

She was in fact not wrong. Carol was walking out with a tray of various New Orleans styled dishes to eat attempting to give her a taste of home, or at least a taste of home without the more negative aspects associated with it. She couldn't help but chuckle



"Aww, you know little ol me all too well."

She giggled sitting the silver trey on one of the picnic tables before sitting down and enjoying the view with Jade.

"My day has gone pretty well so far. Saved a few cats, and there was this giant octopus type creature in the sewers in San Antonio Ah had to fight. It was wierd it treated the thing like it was a sparrinch match before it kind of just sklinked off. Kinda sad that that's a normal tuesday for gals like me huh?"



"Anyway, Ah brought you some food in case you were hungry. If you don't like it I can whip you something else. Ah just thought you might want the tase of home."

[jade]

Jade in her heightened state of meditation could sense Carol before she arrived. When Carol arrived Jade was just finishing her meditation. The sweet delicious smells of sugary fried Benigets and hickory coffee, it was a familiar and comforting smell. She walked over to the picnic table and sat down gesturing for Carol to come sit with her. As picked up a Beniget carefully to tap the powdered sugar off before taking a bite of the soft pillowy fried dough. She sipped the coffee and spoke to Carol giving her a pleased smile.

“Just like back in New Orleans, my Mom used to make these as a treat when we could. Sometimes when and if we had the cash saved up there was a small family owned cafe they would serve these in a paper bag. Where are my manners, here there is plenty of food here for me, help yourself too.”

Jade hadn’t remembered a pleasant memory like this one in a long time. She enjoyed the moment as she finished up and then spoke to Carol.

“Can I join you on one of those missions sometimes? You know generalize what you and Jean have been working on with me. You have been amazing bringing me and treating me like family. “

Jade cupped her hands around the coffee and took a sip as she waited for Carol to respond.

[John Kilroy]

Carol sat with her and admittedly was not near as neat as Jade was. She devoured many Benigets. "Sorry sugah. Mah apatite gets ahead of mah manners. Though Ah must say that these didn't turn out too badly if Ah do say so myself. As for a mission...hmmm actually the Super bowl is tomorrow, and I'm throwing a party after church. Someone I'm close to, I guess you can call her my surrogate niece is going to be there. Her name is Laura Kinney Howlet. She's the daughter of Jean's boyfriend. She takes on the worst of the worst. Big time drug dealers, sex traffickers, child predators, the kind of guys even people like me tend to take the gloves off for.

If you are really looking to test your training and maybe let some of that darkness out we can ask if you can team up with her. Does that sound like something that would tickle your interests?"

Carol took a sip of coffee of her own, waiting for Jade's response.

[jade]

Jade contemplated what Carol had to offer as she finished her last sip of coffee. The kinds of individuals this Laura person seemed to be someone who went after people Jade would have gone after too. The thrill of the hunt sounded especially good after her turn to rest and recover. The into part of this that made Jade a little nervous was the fact she had harnessed mostly control over her abilities and hoped she could maintain this control in the heat of battle. Then the other part of the conversation about a party and the Super Bowl
. Jade pondered what a Super Bowl party was even like. Every thing in Jades life was around her shop and performing so most of the people she knew lived the Vaudeville life like her and they didn’t exactly have Super Bowl parties. Her emerald green eyes caught the morning sun and hard a certain glimmer to them.

“I think meeting Laura might not be so and, I mean if you think I’m ready for that sorta thing, also ummm who’s Logan?”

Jade was a little sheepish in her question she wanted to understand everything going on, but the real truth was she felt a bit like an outsider looking in. She hadn’t been exposed to the “real” world very much, just learned she was mutant and really don’t have any connections to the Avengers or X-Men like Jean and Carol. Jade pondered for a moment, where was Jean anyway? She was certain Jean would have something to say to Carols suggestion of Jade letting out her dark side, even without Shadow her dark side was definitely still something to contend with.


“You seen Jean this morning”

[John Kilroy]

"She said something about Laura calling her. Something going on in Waco. As for Logan..." She could not help but giggle and smile. Logan was like a brother to her and like a good sister she did enjoy to rib him. "He's... something. he's a lot like you. He's got a lot of trauma and a lot of baggage. He's also a bit rough and tumble, but between that gruff exterior is a good guy. He's just cynical. I think you two would actually get along surprisingly well. I'm warning you though. I hope you don't mind the sight of alcohol. He drinks beer like most drink coffee or tea. In fact he told me once that the only thing that scares him is a fridge with no beer."

she chuckled a bit. "But believe me his bark is worse than his bite so long as you don't mean any harm."

[jade]

Jade thought about what Carol said “he’s a lot like you been through a lot of trauma” the alcohol comment didn’t even phase Jade it was more the idea of her trauma defining who she was. Jade didn’t want to be “just another damaged person” no she wanted to be more she wanted to honor her ancestors and break generational curses.

Jade had prided herself on being brought back to make the wrongs right on this world, not just be a victim if her trauma. Maybe Logan was like her in that way. The she heard Carol say something about Laura and Jean battling something in Waco. She pondered for a moment before responding.

“Why do you does my trauma define me? I don’t walk around with it like a purse or a bag. Why is it I am defined by those horrific events. I made a promise to someone I care about I would right the wrongs in this world, how is that letting my trauma define me? Also who’s Laura?”

[John Kilroy]

Carol sighed as she undid the scrunchy in her hair letting the cascading golden wave flow down. "Honey...Ah hate to say it but Ah see it in your eyes. Your bags have bags and they drive you. It's not what defines you but it does seem to be the primary thing that drives you. The thing is if that becomes your primary motivator you're going to burn out and lose yourself. You know how ah know all of this? Because those eyes I see in you? Those are the same eyes Ah had after Marcus, and Rogue, those were the same eyes Ah had when dealing with mah alcoholism. So no honey you're not "just a trauma victim. but what you're dealing this is not something you can deal with alone, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone...and ah'm not going to let you deal with it alone."

she smiled when Jade asked about Laura. "Laura Kenny, she's Wolverine's daughter. She was literally born and raised to be an assassin. She's got some stories to tell too."

[jade]

"Honey...Ah hate to say it but Ah see it in your eyes. Your bags have bags and they drive you. It's not what defines you but it does seem to be the primary thing that drives you. The thing is if that becomes your primary motivator you're going to burn out and lose yourself. You know how ah know all of this? Because those eyes I see in you? Those are the same eyes Ah had after Marcus, and Rogue, those were the same eyes Ah had when dealing with mah alcoholism. So no honey you're not "just a trauma victim. but what you're dealing this is not something you can deal with alone, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone...and ah'm not going to let you deal with it alone."

Jade smiled at Carol, she had to give her credit where it was due Carol was one of the few people who could literally see right through her. Of anyone in this world Carol understood her. The truth was Jade didn’t know any other drive her even how to find anything else she had never been offered really free choice.

“To be honest I don’t really know anything else. I mean I know the help I have offered others at my shop to find closure or free themselves of pain. Hell I even know how to help a soul that is trapped here find peace.
I have never been given free choice.”

Carol gave her a smile and continued to answer her question about Laura. Jade pondered her for a moment she seemed like someone Jade would get along well with.

“Hmph, a person born to be an assassin,
Sounds familiar like a person born to be a soul reaver, like myself. I would like to meet her some day.”

Jade yawned softly feeling slightly tired as her coffee didn’t come with an energy drink she smiled as she wrestled an energy drink out of the backpack she always carried. She thought to herself ‘Ah yes sweet sweet caffeine.’ She cracked open the drink and poured it into her coffee cup mixing it with the left over coffee inside. Jade found herself becoming more alert and focused as the energy drink and coffee combination flowed through her veins.

[John Kilroy]

Carol couldn't help but be amused while at the same time worried seeing Jade pack so much caffeine. Even though Carol had a super metabolism even she felt the effects of being hopped up on caffeine. She could only imagine what someone like Jade who most likely didn't have a super metabolism was like under the influence of a caffeine overdose, plus there was the following question: Just how long had this been a habit for Jade.

"Uh Sugah, not that Ah'm judging cause Ah'm not, but why do you consume so caffeine? That's going to be bad for your heart. A few cups of coffee a day ain't bad but coffee mixed with Monster...and Red Bull...Red Bull? blegh!."

She shook her head looking at the cocktail like it was an abomination. "Forget the caffeine, Ah'm questioning if you have any tastebuds." she giggled.

Shadow King was less than impressed. "How you Americans can consume this cheap consumerist garbage is beyond me. Yes, I'll admit I a king of consumption, but I'd like to think my taste are...refined."

[jade]

Jade had been doing this song and dance with no sleep or at least very little sleep. She wasn’t worried about her hurt, even if it gave out she’d still be sent back as always and rinse and repeat she’d have the voices in her head that she didn’t want to hear and the nightmares of life once lived when she closed her eyes. Jade finished the combination that was almost medicinal in taste. She laughed at the taste buds comment as she spoke.

“I have been doing this for so long the taste is more like medicine and feels more like medicine then enjoyment. Honestly it quiets all the voices in my head.It helps me block out when I feel the pain and the hate around me. I wanna rest sometimes but it’s like when I do the nightmares are so real it causes me to wake up with pain in in my chest. “

Jade paused in her words and took a deep breath inward.

“The truth is Carol I just want to wake up and feel like myself, but I’m not even sure who that is anymore. I know what it means to be a warrior, but who am I? I have spent so long being deceived and living with these broken fragments of myself it’s like putting together a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that are missing or clear. I want to understand who I am I want to avenge those who can’t avenge themselves. I want to stop others from feeling the pain that I have endured.”

Jade would hav become emotional at this point, but something in her was truly broken. The tears wanted to come but they just wouldn’t come. Jade looked at Carol her eyes pleading.

“ please just give me some answers.”

[John Kilroy]

Carol frowned and gave a gentle but firm squeeze to her shoulder. Again, this was a situation that she knew all to well. She couldn't help but wonder how many alternate universes were out there where she was a Rogue clone, in mind, her former self completely gone from existence. She shuttered, It was probably more than she cared to think about.

"It's never easy Sug. It takes time...and you go through a lot of ups and downs, and even them...You're never exactly the same. Some scars don't leave." Carol gave a sad chuckle. "This accent you hear, it's not mine. It's Rogue's Ah'm a Boston native born and raised, but you wouldn't know that by the way Ah look, sound or act. You look at me and you'd think Ah was a native born Southern Belle. Honestly it's gotten to the point where being a backwater southern girl feels more natural than being a city slicker. Guess you could call it a permanent scar from nearly getting absorbed by her."

She wrapped her arms around Jade in a warm embrace. "But here is the thing Sug, even if the scars never go away they do heal. I could have lost myself. I could have lost myself to Rogue completely, I could have grown bitter...or maybe something something. But In spite of everything Ah clung onto the light where Ah could, and Ah clung to those who could when Ah couldn't sure, Rogue added a bit if southern spice to me, and nowadays there maybe a lot...more of me than usual, but I'm still me."

She gave another reassuring smile.

"If you want, we can do a memory walk, maybe try to find jog some of your memories a bit. Either Ah can do it or Jean..."

*RING RING*

Carol paused and held up a finger.

"Scuse me Sugah Ah just need a moment."

Carol grabbed the Phone. "Carol here, Jean...why what's going on...what...Why what's going on in Waco?" Ok Ah'm coming." she put down the phone.

"Sorry Jade somthing is going on in waco and jean needs my help we'll have to deal with this later...unless...do you want to go with me?"

[jade]

Jade listened intently to what Carol had to say. To not lose herself was something Jade wanted to understand, who was she anyway? Was she the memories in her head or were those all trauma and changed in some deep fundamental way? Just as Carol had spoken about a memory walk the phone rang and abruptly interrupted their conversation, Jade was sure to bookmark in her mind Carols offer as she would like to understand the shattered pieces of her memories.
Jade heard Carol Offer a chance to go to Waco and help others. Jade was happy to do something positive for a change. She looked at Carol gesturing to her gear next to her.

“I like the idea of helping others, I got my gear right here, so when do we leave?”

[John Kilroy]

Carol could not help but smile. Jade had potential that much was obvious. Underneath all of that darkness was a spark, a spark that had the potential to be a guiding light for the next generation of heroes. the reality of life was not a secret to Carol, not every hero was like herself or like Wolverine. Most heroes were not immortal. Daredevil, Hawkeye Hank Pym, Janet. They'd eventually age and pass with time. Eventually, most of the old guard would grow old and die, but evil would not die forever, at least not until the end of time. There would always be a madman who was power hungry, an alien invasion, a demon trying to destroy the world, and someone would need to meet it.

Seeing Jade's enthusiasm gave her hope, and she offered Jade her hand. "Right now, though you may want to hold on tight." Traveling faster than life the first time can be a little bit disorienting.

(this is my last post for this thread. Shall we take things to TGAM: ATTACK OF THE 650 FOOT FROG QUEEN!!!! (KEI KAWADE)