In Love & Death (Daredevil)

[Deleted]

"My Dearest Karen,

Today would've been your birthday. You're a year older now, but you remain the same. You were never religious, I know, but at least at his side you won't ever have to lie about your age. Terrible joke, sure, but I've been saying it every time this day happens.

You and I, well, we had a tumultuous life, didn't we? Who could have predicted that a simple working relationship would turn us down the roads we have led? As I scale and dash across these rooftops I start to think about something you once asked me:

'What is it like, Matt?' you would ask, your tone a garbled mix of awe and nervousness, 'to swing across the city when you can't see it?'

After that I would remind you that my Radar makes up for that, but then you'd gently punch me in the shoulder and say 'you know what I mean,' with a giggle of embarrassment.

'In truth,' I would always say, 'between those moments of darkness, up there I am free; free from obligation; free from whatever pressing case at the firm Foggy and I have been saddled with; free from whatever maniacal revenge scheme Bullseye or Fisk have cooking up; free from Natasha trying to involve me in Avengers or SHIELD business; when I can focus on whatever I choose with each turn, each dive, each second, is my own,'

You'd often roll onto your back and look up at the ceiling, your hair falling across your face and your scent blasting me in the face, drawing me like a moth to flame.

'It sounds wonderful,' you'd say with a pur; like me you always had a lot on your mind. There are days I wish I could go back and take those burdens away. And who would blame me? Well, you might, telling me it was your fault that everything that ever happened to us; but we both know that's not true.

I pushed you away. Ever since you knew that Daredevil and Matt Murdock were the same person, every choice made was a response to the events of whenever I put on that mask. It's because of me you moved to LA to start a new life, only to wind up in that awful situation that came from it; it was because of knowing who I really was that got you hooked on drugs and selling me out for a fix. I am not angry for that any more, I haven't been for years, I just wish I could have protected you from it.

'But that's not your job,' you'd tell me if you were here as I pivot on a church's cross for an anchor and rappel to the cemetery behind it. 'Daredevil might be able to protect me from a mugger walking down the street or some hopped up super villain looking to make his name, but he can't protect me from my own stupidity,'

But he didn't, did he?

He failed you. I failed you. Every single time you've come to me seeking aid, all I ever did was slam the door in your face. And yet you still stood by me. I never asked you to jump in front of me. I know you said you always wanted to be an equal partner, but I cannot help but hate myself for not reaching up and pushing you aside to just take Bullseye's attack head on. As I stand by your grave holding this pre-written letter (typed of course by Foggy, he says 'hey Karen,') in my gloved grip. I have failed many times since then, so I must ask you, my Angel in the Night, I beg you, for help. New York has just survived another event because of the madness that Daredevil's life has created, and yet I don't feel good about the ten thousand lives that Daredevil's world has taken from them. I wish I could just go to Stephen Strange and force him to perform some mystic mumbo jumbo that would allow us to see each other one more time (poor choice of words for the blind man, I know,) but we both know you wouldn't want me to. I hope, wherever and whatever place you have gone for, you have found peace, and that some day, maybe not one so far off with my luck, there is a place for me there as well.

I love you, Karen Page. I always will,

- Matthew"