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Post by Rift on Jun 17, 2016 1:07:15 GMT -7
A few days after the eruption of the gang warMidtown High was never the happiest of places, not that any high school ever really is. Peter Parker knew firsthand. As a student he loved school because of learning, dreaded it because of bullies, and now found himself years later teaching the very class that had inspired him the most: science. It was not a job that paid a lot or else he could have stopped snapping pictures of his alter ego, but it was a job he enjoyed. Encouraging the youth, letting the next generation be inspired by what is and what could be in the world of sciences, and ultimately sharing his love of all things academic gave him immense joy. Sure he wasn't going to have any Robin Williams "Oh Captain, my Captain" moments, but it was still worth it. Parker knew that he had on more than one occasion not given up because of the kind word of a teacher and it was something he hoped to be able to repay in some form. Today however was not a good day. Following the events at Norman Osborn's rally and the revelations that came from it, the city was on edge. This was to be the last day the school was open and despite that, his classroom size was small, many parents to scared to send their children to school in the midst of a gang war threatening to consume the entire city in an operatic display of blood and death. Peter couldn't blame them for the over abundance of caution. Personally, he wished the school had shut down as early as today. He could be out there in his other job helping people, saving lives. For the few kids that showed up however he had to put on a brave face and power through as if it were any other day. He was about to give a stirring speech, something about how he knew it was a scary time but that often science could be the light to show you the way, a beacon in the dark, or something equally melodramatic when the first boom was heard and an announcement over the intercom called for a special code that meant they were on lockdown. Can't be the gangs. I mean sure they are crazy, but attacking the school gets them nothing!
Silencing the class he locked the door and lowered the blinds on all window, taking just enough time to peek out. Sure enough, he saw the source of the lock down and it wasn't a gangster or a gunman. It was much worse. "WHERE IS HE?" boomed the very angry voice of the Rhino. "IF SPIDER-MAN DOESN'T SHOW IMMA GONNA KNOCK THIS WHOLE PLACE DOWN!" What the...he started before his thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Rhino's backup, a horde of...zombies? Rhino doesn't usually work with people, so much as for, let alone extras from the Walking Dead. And why is he calling out Spider-Man here of all places? It didn't make sense. Sadly, he couldn't just slip away without being seen and protocol demanded he stay with his students during a crisis. Suddenly, a thunderous boom echoed as Rhino head butted the Vice Principal's Lincoln Continental and sent it flying into part of the school. Thinking quickly Peter mixed a few chemicals he had for display purposes, grabbed a ping-pong ball, and released a homemade smoke bomb. Nontoxic of course. "Class, stay where you are and don't panic. It will all be okay. Just a small spill, nothing dangerous!" he assured them, all the while using the concealing smoke to change into his other work clothes and slip out a window. Seconds later The Amazing Spider-Man was leaping over the heads of undead minions as he headed for the rampaging Rhino. "Yo! Rhino! Hate to break it to ya pal, but I think it is way to late for you to go back to school. Besides, this is high school. You are looking for the school where the short bus parks."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2016 3:02:09 GMT -7
Twenty possible matches. There were twenty possible matches for people named Peter Parker in New York City. “Goddammit! There has to be more than just that!” Deadpool complained to no one in particular from his tiny apartment in Alphabet City. “This is what's terrifying about the internet, boys and girls. The things you can find online with just a name and a state.” Leaning back in a worn swivel chair with yellow sponge stuffing creeping out of the seams, Wade crossed his arms with an audible grumble and idly twisted back and forth, the harsh glow of his computer's screen being the only light to emanate against the minimal features of his crimson mask. Only twenty possible matches. Cut out the ones that were over the age of 30, and the total came to twelve. There couldn't be that few in this city – statistically, that should have been impossible. And yet, the numbers were right there, clear as day. It would have been way too much extra work had there been three or four times as many, and Wade could have given up and stopped caring by now. But twelve? Oooooh, the curiosity was only intensified. And with the city going on lockdown soon, there was easily time to research just twelve, especially since there was no way Spider-Man was going to just up and leave with trouble looming over New York as it was. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knew he should just leave well enough alone and just put this juicy little piece of information far back into the twisted confines of his mind to bother with for another day. But the thought kept creeping up on him, chanting again and again in his mind like a schoolyard taunt – Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker. And Peter Parker has to remain Spider-Man. “It wouldn't hurt to know more, right?” Wade asked of the big-headed Spidey plush that was set on the table beside his laptop. “Won't hurt him, won't hurt me. If anything, I can help him better if I know where he's at out of spandex, right? Because we're amazing friends now, right?” The doll flopped over onto its face. Deadpool frowned at this response. He had become a man dominated with obsession ever since Flipside carelessly revealed Spidey's real name to him, ever since the terrible revelations of what was to become of the two of them in the years to come*. He swore that this future wouldn't come to pass, that Spider-Man would stay on the heroic path, as he should, no matter what the cost. And if that cost included figuring out exactly which Peter Parker was Spider-Man? “It's for both of our own good,” Wade mumbled to himself, a distinct lack of confidence evident in his voice as he focused his attention on the twelve Peter Parkers listed on the computer, pointing a finger at each one. “Eeny, meeny, miny...” he recited, landing on the Parker that worked as a teacher at a local high school. “Midtown.” *Revealed in Rewired Reunions and What Is and What Should Never Be, respectivelyMidtown High School, the first stop on Wade Wilson's Spider-Man Grand Tour, was fairly typical for an urban public educational facility of its size, save for the hordes of shambling corpses littering the front entrance and moaning up a storm. “Huh...looks like winter came early this year,” Deadpool remarked from his stakeout point on a neighboring rooftop, when his thoughts were interrupted by the bellowing of the musclebound Rhino, angrily calling out for Spider-Man. “Hey, I got it right on the first try! Go me!” But hold up. How does Rhino know Spider-Man might be here? Unless...crap, does he know too?A blur of red and blue zipped into action as confirmation, leaping over the horde to face the ridiculously-dressed villain, and Wade took that as his own cue to jump into the fray himself. He jumped from the roof and swung himself from streetlamp to streetlamp like a high flying trapeze artist, landing gracefully upon the chain link fence for just long enough to release his katanas from the sheathes at his back. A sword firmly grasped in each hand, Deadpool leaped into the sea of undead, swinging both blades out and around to remove the heads of several at once. A gaggle of bodies took the place of the ones put down, and he quickly found himself overrun. “Okay, seriously, who opened up the Necronomicon today?” Hacking through with several strong slashes, more walkers were sliced in half, and some into quarters, clearing a gory, body-strewn path to the lumbering Rhino. “Need I remind you that zombie stories are not actually allowed around here?”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jun 20, 2016 23:09:19 GMT -7
Rhino turned angrily and snorted. "There you are!" he shouted. "Yeah, that's kinda why I said Yo Rhino," Spidey responded shaking his head. "Again, I say, schooling and you are a good idea, just you know, not this school. Speaking of which, what are you doing here of all places? And calling me out? You should just be glad I was in the neighborhood."In response Rhino tucked his head low and charged at the wall crawling hero as he had so many times before. Spidey meanwhile flipped over him, both feet kicking off the back of his head and carrying him over to the rooftop of a nearby car. "Lovely. Now is that a horn or are you just happy to see..."Spider-Man was cut off by the sight of a car barreling towards him through the air, courtesy of a Rhino headbutt. He worked as fast as he could creating a web net between an overhead street lamp and the flagpole, managing to catch the vehicle before it smashed into him and through the school. He had been so distracted by the projectile that he didn't notice Deadpool arrive nor did he see the zombie beside him attempt to take a bite out of him. He stepped backwards, still confused as to how the Rhino and the undead went together in any logical way, when suddenly it dawned on him that his Spider-Sense never alerted him to the attempted chow down session. He was just about to say something in regards to that when his Spider-Sense did tingle, giving him just enough time to avoid the long ragged nails of another zombie, the decaying fingernails slashing a gash into the streetlight. "Okay...not good." he spat as Rhino lined up for another charge. Meanwhile, a quartet of zombies lumbered towards Wade. "Which one is Spiderrrrrrr-Maaaaannnn?" one of the undead droned on in stereotypical moaning zombie fashion as it swung a fist at Deadpool.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 10:44:40 GMT -7
“Which one indeed! It's like we're twins or something! Good thing neither one of us are well-versed in copyright laws.” Deadpool threw his upper body backwards to avoid the incoming punch, only to bump into another walker that wrapped its arm around his throat from behind. Struggling to free himself, he added with a choked sputter, “If we were, there wouldn't be ten Spider-like people running around this city. Fair use is really starting to spiral out of control!”Wait...zombies don't punch! They scratch and bite and go om nom nom upon delicious brain meats! I don't think they're supposed to talk either!A sickening hiss emanated from the creature's larynx into Wade's ear, followed by the clicking of human teeth, which sent a shudder down his spine. “Sorry, guys, but I won't be much of a meal for ya! I'm way too spicy for the average flesh eater!” He swung his left sword full tilt against the clutching zombie appendage, cutting deep into it and slicing downwards, watching the offending piece drop to the ground with a bloody thump. Now free from the cold, clammy grip, Deadpool whirled about in a deft motion, bringing his opposite sword right through the corpse's torso in a bloody splatter of fluids and juices. Both blades sliced through the shambling bodies, viscera whipping through the air as the Merc with the Mouth danced and cut and pirouetted through the horde. “♪Dancin' at the Zombie Zoo!♪,” he sang merrily, leapfrogging over the beheaded shoulders of a falling rotter to gain some height and hopped along the deteriorating and shifting heads, swinging his swords expertly all the way. “♪Painted in a corner, and all you wanna do is dance down at the Zombie Zoo!♪”
His boots cracking into the skulls of the corpses, slime and ick bursting from therein like rotten eggs, Deadpool took a risk and jumped hard towards a parked and blood-spattered vehicle, landing sloppily and slippery against the roof of it on his stomach, his entire body coated in gore and gunge. He narrowed his eyes to look out over the sea of reanimated cadavers, wondering for a moment where the heck they even came from. Granted, New York City was home to not only metahumans, but vampires and dire were-alligators, among other beings of a cosmic, alien, or monstrous nature, but zombies weren't the most common enemy around these parts. Perhaps Black Talon was back in town? But he was generally a solo act, wasn't he? And zombies don't usually just stroll into town unnoticed. The Rhino came barreling past to take another heavy strike at wallcrawler, immediately knocking Deadpool's train of thought off the rails. As the hulking man came through at ramming speed, Wade counted off in his head and leaped for the head and shoulders, clutching fast to the convenient handlebars that were the horns of the costume. His grip far too slick with blood and grime, he pulled himself up the Rhino's shoulders as best he could and quickly wrapped his arms about the man's head from behind, covering the villain's eyes and mouth with gore-coated limbs. “Hey now! You can't just be waving that big ol' horn about in public!” Wade called out, holding on for dear life and tightening his grip on the Rhino's face. “This is a school zone! Won't someone please think of the children?!”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jun 26, 2016 10:13:05 GMT -7
"AHHH! NOT YOU!" Rhino shouted, evidently smart enough to know the difference between Deadpool and Spidey. "Get offa me you freak!"With that the Rhino began to charge and shake wildly in an attempt to dislodge Deadpool as if he were some kind of cowboy and the villain his ride at a rodeo. He even tried turning around and slamming his back into the side of a large F-250 pick up in the parking lot. Meanwhile... "D-Deadpool? What are you doing here? What is this? Some kind of comic convention in town and nobody told moi?"
Before Spider-Man's shouts could be responded to he was forced to perform a series of acrobatic back flips to avoid what appeared to be tires ripped from a vehicle and tossed at him by the undead. He was going to make a quip about the creatures all getting smarter and moving faster since 28 Days Later became a thing, when it suddenly dawned on him that his Spider-Sense had not gone off over the projectiles. It did however blare as one of the zombies angled a kick at him. A perfectly executed martial arts maneuver that was backed up by a punch with...knuckle dusters? Wait a minute. Genre breaking weaponry aside, why can I only sense every other attack? And why can't I smell decay and death?As he caught his nearest attacker around the neck and looped the webline over a lamppost he heard the zombie stop moaning for a second as it yelped in shock. Illusions! Duh, Spidey, how could you be so blind? Only some of the zombies are real and even then they are just mooks with weapons, not undead masses. The rest are illusions, while these idiots have holographic disguises! It's Mysterio 101...except Mysterio is usually smarter than this.He almost laughed as he imagined whoever put these idiots up to this, whoever hired the Rhino, because he knew the bruiser wouldn't have sought him out on his own, had no idea that there would be fake zombies thrown into the mix. Somehow he bet that was Rhino's suggestion to his partner, as if the zombies were going to scare a genuine superhero like him. At least if seemed like something the walnut sized brain floating around in that thick skull would come up with. Then he realizes that Wade, guns and katanas always at hand, would likely start eviscerating the things as he thought they were the real deal. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap," he muttered as he swung over head and ducked and weaved around illusion and thug alike. "Out of the way, excuse me, coming through!"
He had to reach Deadpool, not only to help with Rhino, but to stop the mercenary from blowing away the goons in their high tech disguises.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 19:44:57 GMT -7
Deadpool was swung violently about on the Rhino's back, holding on for dear life. “Yippee kay yay, Mister Falcon!” he cried out as he was bucked and bashed like a rodeo clown, though he kept his language surprisingly clean, especially for one with such an infamous mouth. It was a school zone, after all, and with the inclusion of zombies as the enemy as opposed to any living, human characters not vital to the plot, it was clearly obvious that this adventure would remain securely in PG-13 territory. The dialogue may have been cleaner, but it was still quite plentiful, and Wade continued chattering through the pounding rampage of the destructive villain. “Bet you wish you hadn't crossed paths with me again, Tiny. You shoulda known better than to stand me up at our eighth grade spring formal!” He was smashed wholesale against the aforementioned pick-up truck, mentally noting how specific the make and model was as his bones cracked audibly between shiny aluminum and bulky shoulders. Somewhat flattened with his limbs crinkling in and out of place painfully, he continued, “I got myself all prettied up for you, and you never showed! And you have the nerve to show up now, after all these years? You heartless bastard!”His fingers still slick with slathered brain matter, Deadpool lost his grip on the Rhino's head, and was flung back into the horde with a mighty hitch and jerk of the horned man's mighty spine. He flew through the air and landed sharply on his back, only to have a gaggle of undead swarm him from above, moaning, drooling, and still oddly chatty. Practically tearing the holster from his leg in a panic as he grabbed hold of his sidearm, Wade shot out three times, each one blasting a walker right between the eyes. One went down in a mess of blood, the other two didn't seem to be affected, as if the bullets had simply fazed through their skulls. “Wha?”Throwing his legs up towards his knees, Deadpool forced himself into a forward roll between the legs and grabbing arms of his adversaries, righting himself to his feet again just as Spider-Man came swinging in to save the day. Wade felt a slight tightening in his stomach upon seeing him, but waved his blood-soaked gun hand cheerily in greeting to mask any discomfort. “Oy, Spidey! You've got quite the infestation in your friendly neighborhood! Why, it's practically a hellzone in here!” While he was distracted by the wallcrawler's acrobatics, one of the zombies slipped behind Deadpool and bit hard into his shoulder, causing the red-suited mercenary to scream out in high-pitched fright and swing the gun's muzzle around to point at the offending walker, ready to abuse the trigger.
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 2, 2016 21:01:21 GMT -7
Spider-Man fired off a glob of webbing, striking Rhino right in the eyes. It wouldn't hold for long, but for the moment the gargantuan villain was blinded. "Illusions!" he shouted at Deadpool. "Only some of these are real, but none of them are zombies! Holograms of some sort I think since only some of them set off my Spider-Sense, but either way, the real ones are people! Idiots with knives and..."He backflipped and took over behind a car as his spider sense blared and alerted him to incoming projectiles. "And guns!" he finished. "Awwww man! I told 'em da zombies needed ta be scary!" Rhino complained as he fought to get rid of the webbing obscuring his vision. Leaping overhead once more he landed beside Deadpool and the not-zombie he held a gun on. Waiting until his spider-sense went off again he twisted and fired off a webline without looking, yanking another Romero reject towards him and his waiting fist. The "zombie" fell to the gravel below, a semi-automatic spinning out and away from its grasp. "So...what brings you here?" he asked the Merc, ignoring the uncomfortable feelings brought up by seeing him for the first time since the CEO incident. "Concerned citizen hire you as crossing guard?"Having finally torn free of the webbing, Rhino shouted in the distance. "I'm gonna turn both of yous into mushy stains! Ruining all my fun!"
"Oh c'mon! You are so lame there is no way you'd have a crew! Not even dead people wanna hang out with you, thought you knew that Nature Channel! So where is he huh? Where's Mysterio's bubbleheaded self? And more importantly, have the people behind Trouble sued him yet?"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 19:15:03 GMT -7
The offending zombie that chomped into the Merc with the Mouth was thwipped away before he could fire off the gun, the webslinger shouting out the truth behind the sudden horde of dead things. “You mean they're...” Deadpool looked around at the bloodstained streets and decapitated corpses that littered the jagged path he had taken through the waves of illusionary zombies, himself coated in what was likely a combination of imagined guts and real life viscera. “...uh oh.” Folding his arms across his chest with his cheeks puffing out indignantly, he grumbled to the fallen cadavers, “Well, that's what you get for dressing up as zombies and scaring folks in this part of town. You never know who has a gun! Or swords, in this case. Always more of a Michonne fan, anyway.”The tension between the two red-clad acrobats was palpable as Spidey landed nearby, neither one really sure what to say to the other after the traumatic events they had gone through previously. Time travel and knowing one possible, but really awful future made for some painfully awkward moments, but thankfully both men knew how to mask fear and discomfort with their individual brands of humor. This time, Spider-Man broke the tension with a quip of his own, and Deadpool returned in kind. “Oh no, I just had two tickets to the Sinister Six reunion tour, and thought, 'Who do I know that would totally want to go to such a wild show with me?' And your name popped right up!” Wade laughed nervously at the cover story and popped his firearm back into its holster, knowing that any further casualties would likely be frowned upon at this point, just as the Rhino made his presence known once again. “Ooooh, Trouble! Haven't played that game in years. We should have a game night one of these days. Invite a couple of your rouges' gallery buddies along. What do you say, hornhead? I'll warn you, though, I get pretty nasty at Uno, especially if money's on the line.”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 18, 2016 4:46:51 GMT -7
Across the parking lot behind an empty school bus, a woman poked her head out, confused as to why the zombie ruse had seemingly failed. IDIOT! I told him to go with something else, but no, "It'll scare the webhead good, cause everyone is scared of zombies" he said! MORON! she thought as she eyed the battle at a safe distance. "Synario to all forces, the game is up. I'm altering the illusions to include greater firepower and overwhelming numbers. Dead with the buffoon with the guns and let Sytsecvich handle the bug! I didn't make my big come back just to get plugged by some weirdo Spider-Man cosplayer!" she barked into her earpiece. As if on cue the zombies seemed to shift into heavily armed soldiers, each brandishing out[landishly large rifles, grenades, and pouches that seemed to engulf their entire forms. More appeared as if out of thin air too, the glowing green lenses of their goggles odd in the brightness of the day. Spider-Man meanwhile smiled. No one saw it, but the fact that Wilson was willing to crack a joke to ease the tension helped a bit. He didn't buy his hastily assembled excuse for being in his neck of the woods, but worries about his secret identity being out there would have to wait. The Rhino was coming around for another go at them, roaring in anger either at failing to get them already or at Deadpool's quips. Is this what it is like to fight me? he wondered, a shiver running down his spine. Whatever the case he was grateful that the merc was able to be professional...well, professional enough to not allow the horror show of a future that could be effect his work here and now. Just remember Spidey, a pissed off Rhino is a dangerous one, but also easier to beat, he thought as he turned towards Wade, ignoring the bruiser approaching at uncomfortable speed for a man his size. "Really? I'm touched! I mean I heard they were getting back together, but ever since Otto left I'm just not sure they'll be as good. I mean he freaking Zaned me man. I'm just not sure the band will ever recover!"He waited until he felt the tingle of his spider-sense once more, pinpointed the real threat, and fired a webline, making certain the weapon fired high and wide, the round missing his shoulder but hitting the Rhino. Luckily it was a mild energy based projectile as a bullet would have ricocheted off his hardened suit, but this one while not giving him pause, did up the heat. Rhino had been defeated before from overheating and while the likelihood of these minor irritants causing a repeat was slim, an uncomfortable Rhino would hopefully make more mistakes. "YOU HIT ME IDIOT!" he shouted as he kicked a car towards the red clad heroes.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2016 7:37:47 GMT -7
“A Doc Ock fan? Really?” Deadpool grumbled at Spider-Man as the illusions shifted into a full scale army of decidedly less dead looking things. “Everyone knows Six's work got far superior when Otto left for his ill-fated solo career. Gah, I swear, you're so old school!”
There was a certain sense of brightness as the pair fell back into their old habits, and Wade could feel the tight discomfort in his stomach beginning to fade away into adrenaline-fueled laughter. Spidey was a man difficult to stay angry at, or in this case afraid of, as the two easily quipped off of one another while fighting in tandem. Right back to where we were...like nothing ever happened, the merc thought with a hidden smile of his own, though his heart ached for a moment as his constant inner monologue changed gears towards the paranoid. But it might happen...we were supposedly better friends before he goes all Doctor Killebrew on me, right? Stupid Deadpool! You're so damn stupid! We're just going along the same timeline, aren't we?! You shouldn't have come here! Nothing's gonna change!The heavily armed battalion charged forward, with Rhino leading the fray, as a stray grenade came lobbing in, which the masked merc leaped towards and caught with one hand. “Man, someone call up the 90s – these guys are reaching near Liefeldian levels of cheesy.” Unsure if he was holding a live explosive or another illusion, Deadpool drew his arm back as far as he could and sent the grenade back from whence it came, resulting in a loud, shrapnel-scattering explosion. But...he's still Spider-Man. It has to change...it just has to. I can't go through the same crap I did with Nate. Not again. I won't let it.
The Rhino let out another animalistic roar and made another charge at the pair as they were swarmed by the overarmed space marines. “This is getting us nowhere! Spidey, remind me again how that spider-sense works. If these are illusions, can you find the real source of the danger? Maybe we can shut it down all at---GAAH!” The kicked car came barreling in at top speed, and without a pre-cog sense like his partner, Deadpool took it head on, smack to the face. The force flung him backwards, cracking his skull and spine against a telephone pole with a loud thwack.
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 21, 2016 22:12:54 GMT -7
Spidey swallowed hard, not sure how he was managing to joke with the man who by all rights should have run screaming in the other direction at the very sight of him. Considering what his future self had done to him, Spidey himself wanted to run away, the guilt over something he hadn't done and could never see himself doing still just as real as if he had done it himself.
But I did or have or will or...damn time travel. Gives me a migraine just thinking about it. Why for did you lie to me Marty McFly and make the whole concept seem cool?
"Well sure its old school and the new was good, kinda like when Dio came in for Sabbath, but even though he rocked hardcore everyone missed Ozzy. Same with Ock. I mean they just don't commit fashion crimes like the bowl cut anymore. I mean sure, now there is all this skin tight leather that looks like it was stolen from the set of Underworld Meets the Matrix: Hellraiser Boogaloo, but the classics are meant to be respected!"
That was when his Spider-Sense blared so much it nearly made him jump through his skin. It happened a split second after Wade disposed of what he was fairly certain was a live grenade, but the source had come from behind...
He didn't even get a chance to warn Deadpool nor to answer his question as another vehicle came barreling at them. He jumped, corckscrewing through the air, crashing through the driver side window, and out the passenger door, kicking the door into Rhino's face. A small backflip as a flourish and he was crouched in the parking lot, staring as the door swung from Rhino's horn like a hood ornament pierced clean through. A small trickle of blood came from Rhino's nose, but he was otherwise unharmed. He was however extremely pissed off.
"Gulp," the wallcrawler said aloud. "I think he's mad now Dead...pool?"
Turning he saw the flattened mercenary. Forgetting that he had a healing factor, Peter cried out.
"Deadpool! DEADPOOL!"
The momentary distraction however allowed Rhino to pull the door off his horn and toss it. It collided with Spider-Man's back HARD, knocking him several feet where he landed face first on the pavement with a groan.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2016 7:53:51 GMT -7
Through a mix of crackling, resetting bones and a drawn out moan of over-dramatic anguish, Deadpool raised his hand up from his horizontal position with a thumbs up. “I'm okay!” he groaned, looking and sounding decidedly not okay, but who could really tell with healing factor guys these days? The thoroughly unpleasant noise of the merc's spine snapping itself back into its proper alignment cracked loudly as he stood himself up again and stretched himself back to proper form, only for Spider-Man to come flying in, face first to the pavement. “That guy really needs to get into some anger management therapy,” Wade mused as he grabbed Peter from beneath his shoulder and pulled the wallcrawler back to his feet, dusting the gravel off the shorter man's suit like a concerned mother. “And while we're helping him get the help he so desperately needs, we can look up a good marriage counselor. Do they have couples' therapy for superhero teams nowadays? With the whole Cap and Iron Man fallout and the sheer number of mix-matched teams around this city, you'd think that'd be a psychiatric field rich in opportunity. More talking, less Civil Warring. But I guess that wouldn't sell a lot of books, would it?”
The half-illusion half-henchman army began to move in on the pair once again, guns cocked and explosives at the ready. “Boss said only go for the one with the guns! C'mon people, move, move!” Deadpool cocked an eyebrow as he offered Spidey support to regain his bearings. “Just because we're both red and we're both kinda bendy, doesn't mean we look like freaking clones!" He grumbled to the webslinger. "There are way more differences than just me having guns! I have pouches too! Can no one seriously tell us apart?” His words stopped short as a lightbulb flashed over his head with an idea. “No one can tell us apart...Spidey! Thwip us somewhere where we won't be seen for a minute – I've got an idea!” Wade grabbed hold of both of Peter's shoulders with an excited grin beneath his mask. “Let's fake these jokers out with our own illusion!”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 22, 2016 21:23:20 GMT -7
Spidey shook his head trying to clear the stars from his vision. Spinning around to a sitting position he again fired off a glob of webbing at Rhino. This time it struck below his chin and began to rapidly expand, the impact webbing engulfing his head and momentarily blinding him, allowing the hero a chance to recover. That was when he took in the approaching soldiers. "Yeah, I mean besides the pouches there is the whole non-stop annoying yammering and...okay not helping my case here. Well there is also the swords and all manner of things that go boom! I mean when have you ever heard of me stabbing or shooting someone...when have you ever heard of it not published by the Bugle that is? I mean it isn't as if I am a walking GTA game like some people!"Standing he craned his neck. "Yeesh, this is what I get for letting even the first Spider-Woman get away with the whole name thing. Too many red clad wall crawlers these days. I think the brand has been watered down. And not for nothing, I mean we both no that the S-Man of the future rocks, but he has a skull, a SKULL for a logo. Not a spider. You don't even have a symbol so what gives?"Grabbing Deadpool rather unceremoniously, he jumped and fired a webline, carrying them to the school's roof. "So an illusion of our own huh? What you have a holo-projector of your own in there or..." he started as his eyes went wide beneath the mask. "Oh no. No no no no. You...you are not thinking what I think you are thinking are you?"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2016 13:23:42 GMT -7
Deadpool merely lifted his mask up past his jaw slightly, a wider, mischievous grin now visible to the wallcrawler amidst the usual trails of scars. “Great minds, my lovely little Spider. Great minds.” “Ohhhhh Rhiiiiiiinoooooo!” The More Adjectives Than Should Be Legal Spider-Man swung back onto the scene with a powerful whoosh of red and blue webs, flying over the heads of Synario's illusions and henchmen with an attempted flourish. He seemed a bit unsteady with the webline as he came hurtling in the air like a rusty trapeze artist towards the gargantuan villain, yet cheers of childish glee seemed to burst out loudly from behind the wide-eyed mask. “Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!” The webslinger swung gently past the Rhino and immediately whipped his head to look behind him at the new distance that was building between him and his intended target. “Umm...there goes the Spider-Man.” Stretching his free arm out towards an opposite building, he pressed his middle and ring fingers hard into the heel of his palm. Nothing. “Come on! Come on! I don't have time for my usual luck!” Spidey complained, pressing his fingers into various spots against his palm to get the webshooter to work properly, bringing his hand closer to his face for better inspection, and trying again with little success. The initial webline hit its highest point and began to swing the hapless hero back towards the action again. Dammit...how does he make this look so easy?Throwing his arm out so hard, he might as well have been trying to disconnect the joints, a line of sticky web fluid finally emerged from the webshooter and stuck fast to the end of Rhino's thematic horn. “Not what I was going for, but let's work with it!” Spider-Man exclaimed, pulling hard on the web to thrust himself to the villain with increased momentum. “First rule of theater – watch for changes!” With an additional tug on the web, he flipped himself midair into a powerful kick, aiming both feet towards the grey-clad man's large head. “Heeeeey, buddy! You got a bit of my boot on your face. Let me get that for ya!”
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" That'd be me. The Spider-Man of tomorrow, here to save today... "
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Post by Rift on Jul 26, 2016 21:34:23 GMT -7
Deadpool stood with his arms crossed. "This is never going to work. Do you know why this is never going to work? Allow me to count the ways..."Before he could even begin however Spider-Man had leapt back into the fray, attacking Rhino head on and fumbling about to use his web shooters as if he hadn't paid a lick of attention to the instructions given to him. Deadpool however didn't have time to worry about it as he jumped from the building, landing in a group of the holo-disguised thugs as he delivered a powerful kick that sent one flying through the illusion duplicates. He took a moment to tug on the pants leg of his costume, the bunching clearly uncomfortable given the fighting he was about to engage in. Readjusting the mask that clearly had never met a washing machine in its existence he hit the side of his head as the mob stared in confusion. "There, all better, okay, let's do this!" Spinning on heel to face them he struggled to free a katana from it's sheath. "You guys really don't know who I am do you? I'm the Merc with the Mouth, the Killer for Hire, the...uh...bringing of pain and wielder all manner of ouchy devices! I..." he began, a pistol falling from it's holster as he fought with the blade. "apparently emptied Rambo's closet on my way to the Kill Bill store...I mean really? C'mon! How does this even..."Without waiting to figure our why Deadpool had gone all spastic on them Rhino's backup, holograms and real threats alike, converged. "Oh screw it!" he spat as he flipped over the head of the nearest goon, a hurricanrana sending him crashing into a trashcan. "Just going to take you mooks out the old fashioned way! Cause I know Kung FU, Karate, and all that other Mister Miyagi taught stuff!" Proceeding to deliver a flurry of kicks, flips, and punched that launched the men when they landed he seemed to know exactly what was a real threat and what was merely illusion. He demonstrated as much by bending backwards until his head touched the concrete to avoid a thrown knife, the added weight of the swords and guns and small army worth of things that go boom causing him to fall all the way down. "OUCH!" he shouted as he regained his feet, once more readjusting the suit. A man running for cover as if expecting a blade or bullet in retaliation opened fire as tires squealed in the near distance. "Dunno who you are pal, but you are so dead!" shouted the goon, echoed by illusionary backup. Suddenly, a car sped through the parking lot headed right for the Merc. Seeing it at the last moment he flipped over the hood and targeted the hiding thug, his hand forming into the trademark formation used by a certain wallcrawler to fire off webbing...and nothing happened. "Dammit! Forgot!" he shouted as a bullet from the man's gun nearly grazed his shoulder. Pulling a gun he took a running jump into the air, just as the car began to back up. He released the clip and threw it at the vehicle where it crashed through the driver side window and into the head of the driver, knocking him out, the car crashing into other parked vehicles. While still airborne he threw the gun itself, striking gunman right between the legs. Landing, Deadpool glanced at one of the holograms and raised his hand to his mouth. "Holy...I mean....wow. Just wow. You saw that right? I can't believe that actually worked! I mean..." as the remaining guns for hire started staring as if he were speaking Greek he stopped short. Crap...what should I be saying here? Uh...
"Uh...BOOBIES!" he declared as the men ran away to regroup. Turning to the man still groaning from a gun to the nads he waved. "OOOH! Sorry bro, I mean I hate to nutcracker anyone, especially since you guys with all your Schwarzenegger muscles, Punisher envy pew-pews, and mega pouches of doom remind me so much of another walking talking action movie cliche that I may or may not have a total man-crush on, but you left me no choice!"Delivering a knock out punch to the man he tried to get a look at where the remaining men had positioned themselves and called out across the parking lot. "How's it going W-Spidey? Old buddy, old pal?"
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